Stewie Griffin Quotes

Allrite, theese are my personal favourite Stewie Griffin Quotes! If I'm missing any of your favourite quotes, Let me know!
Some of the Stewie Griffin Quotes might have some type-o's. Sorry if they do.

1. This is my personal all time favourite. It's a monologue where Stewie speaks to Jeremy, his new babysitters boyfriend.

Hah! I got your hat! Take that, hatless! Now go back to the quad and resume your hackey sac tourney!
I'm not gonna lay down for some frat boy bastard with his damn Teva sandals and his Skoal Bandits and his Abercrombie
and Fitch long sleeved, open stitched, crew neck Henley smoking his sticky buds out of a soda can while watching his
favorite downloaded Simpsons episodes every night! Yes, we all love "Mr. Plow"! Oh, you've got the song memorized, do you?
So does everyone else! That is exactly the kind of idiot you see at Taco Bell at 1 in the morning!
The guy who just whiffed his way down the bar skank ladder!

2. My second favourite from the episode Petarded. This is Stewies reply to Meg, after she says "I can never go to school again!"

Oh, yes, Meg, yes yes yes, everything was going swimmingly for you until this. Yes, yes, this is the thing that will ruin your reputation.
Not your years of grotesque appearance, or your awkward social graces, or that felix hungerish way you clear your sinuses, no no no
it's this. Do you hear yourself talk?.. I might kill you tonight.

3. Third personal favourite coming up. This is Stewies letter to Brian when he's run away to go live on Jolly Farm

Dear stupid dog, I've gone to live with the children on jolly farm. Good bye forever. Stewie.
P.S: I never got a chance to return that sweater Lois gave me for Christmas. Umm, I left the receipt on top of my bureau.
I'm probably over the thirty day return limit but um, I'm sure if you make a fuss they'll at least give you a store credit or something.
Umm.. It's actually not a horrible sweater. It's.. It's just, I can't imagine when I would ever wear it you know? Oh I also left a button
on the bureau. I'm not sure what it goes to, but I can never bring myself to throw a button away. I know that as soon as I do I'll
find the garment it goes to and then it'll.. Wait a minute, could it be from the sweater? Did that sweater have buttons? Hmm..
Well I should wrap this up before I start to ramble. Again, goodbye forever. PPS: You know, it might be a little chilly in London. I'm actually going to take the sweater.